Pudhe Chala !!

These two words, instantly conjure up an image of a khakhi-dressed, harried conductor in a lurching, crowded BEST bus full of sweaty tired passengers for anyone who's been in Bombay long enough !

A conductor: the person who punches out the tickets and collects the correct fare for your journey. That's the job profile. But he is also the person who can alter your mood, make you belligerent by acting stuffy, make you plead (for your life, onlookers might think) when he says "kya hai?....chutta nikalo nahi to uttar jao" in the bus which when running exactly on schedule comes in intervals of 50 minutes.

There is this one conductor who I bump into infrequently in early morning buses on Route 79. A complete joker.........he'll keep a smile on your face all through the journey by passing harmless but amazingly funny comments at all the passengers alighting, boarding or just sitting in the bus.

There's another in the 8:35 # 322 bus from Santacruz to Vidyavihar. Have been seeing him regularly for almost 4 years now..we smile and acknowledge each other, but 2 semesters ago, when I boarded the bus during exams with notes spilling from my hands......he gave me my ticket and then started speaking to me...
"What engineering are you doing? "
"Mechanical"
"You like it?"
"Bahut"
"Electronics Engineering kaisa hai? "
"Bahut accha field hai. Kyun ?"
"Meri beti Electronics Engineer hai"
The quiet pride on his face made me see him as a father, and not as a conductor for the 1st time in so many years. And now whenever I see him, I don't see him as a conductor...but as a person I know.

Another incident......while preparing for my GRE, I used to revise my verbal flashcards in the bus each day. One evening, while I was going through a massively difficult set, this conductor sits down next to me and asks:
" Yeh kya hai? "
"Exam ke liye English padh raha hu"
" Yeh exam kab hoti hai? Kyunki tum sab poora saal yehi karte rehte ho"
"Jisko jab dena ho, tab exam de sakta hai."
(Incredulous look on his face....must be thinking I am pulling a fast one on him)
"Accha, to iss se english kaise seekhte hai? "
I explained him the funda of the word in CAPS in front, and the meaning and its usage behind.
"Bahut accha tarika hai yeh." ...Pause... "Maine english sirf school tak padhi thi. Aur padhne ka mauka nahi mila....lekin seekhna hai. "
And I got a low-down of his life then. Just a very interesting narrative........and it was a wonderful experience.

Then there are bullies......forever frowning, forever scowling, even if I told them my best PJ, they wouldn't be able to laugh. With pockets bulging with change, they'll still trouble people for exact change. Saw one some days ago....a kid asked for a half ticket. This guy instantly started shouting at him.....itna bada ho ke 11 saal ka bolta hai apne aap ko? Sharam nahi aati? blaaah blaaah.....poor kid was petrified ! He didn't ask for any ID, any proof....just let it rip !

But imagine a job where you have to be on your toes..literally and figuratively for hours together, handle massive 4 digit transactions in petty change in each day and then account for every 25p coin that has been collected in the day, have man-management, PR, HR, time-management, deadlines, strict schedules each day, every day. No Sundays off, face the wrath of everyone who has had a bad day, be pushed, shoved and at the end of it, get no thanks but the small salary you get to take home.

Its hats off to these guys........and I will miss this breed when I go abroad (hopefully, I'll get veeejhaa! ). Coz abroad, all I'll have a fat driver grinning at me when i drop my fare into a box and then tell me "Mind your Head".

Conductors, Pudhe chalaaaaa !!
(That's move forward, in Marathi....!)
Two famous ex-conductors: Rajnikant and Johnny Lever